I Suck at Making Decisions
I couldn't think of a better title that encompasses my thoughts on decision making. I hate making decisions. I have never liked it, but I'm an adult and there are so many decisions to be made on a daily basis. So, I decided I can sit here and whine about decision making, or I can start harnessing my God given powers of being an informed woman and start showing up for myself!
I made that sound better then what went through my head. What really went through my head, was - "ugh. I have to make a decision about what to write. I have to decide what to make for dinner. I have to decide how I am going to get everything done that I need to get done in the little amount that I have tonight...." And I could keep going on. But then I started thinking about all the decisions I make on a daily basis that I put very little effort into, and how those have become so habitual that I don't complain about them. Here's a little list, and I am sure you have some of these on your daily decision list as well:
- Brushing your teeth
- Getting dressed
- Eating breakfast or lunch
- Driving to work
- Picking up your kids from school
- Calling your parents
- You get the idea
Okay, so those decisions are easy. They have to happen. It's the decisions that don't have to happen that give me a little pit of fear in my stomach. It's the decision to write this post, to put myself out there, to be judged by others. It's the decision to make a video on social media when I've recorded it ten times and still am not happy. It's the decision to actually come up with a concept for my book and sit my happy ass down and write it.
Let me rephrase the title of this post - I suck at making life changing decisions.
Can writing this post change my life? Who knows, and I'm writing it more for me than for anything else. I am writing so I can look back one day and laugh at the struggles I had - and know that I will continue to have more struggles as life keeps evolving. Putting these words on this page has also got me thinking of all the very hard, life changing decisions I have made in the past, including...
- Getting a divorce
- Going away to college
- Giving a baby up for adoption
- Actually starting this blog
- Starting therapy
- Starting to speak at events in front of thousands of people
And I could go on and on.
My point is - I do not need to be afraid to make decisions or to say that I suck at them. Because I have made it this far in life, and I am am damn sure that there will be many more hard decisions ahead.
This post is a little haphazard, it's not my best work. But I decided to sit down and write it today when I really really didn't feel like it. I made the decision to put pen down to paper and press publish - even if it's not perfect.