Do you look at social media posts and see the perfect version of someone's life, only to feel the slow rise of jealousy come up through your chest? What lies might you be telling yourself about this person's life?
Take yourself back to when you were little and think of an adult in your life that you admired and looked up to. What did you believe about this person? Maybe you believed they had their whole life together. Maybe you believed that their life was perfect, and you wanted to be just like them when you were older. Maybe you believed they were not afraid of anything.
As a child, we look to our role models and other adults as people who have their entire life figured out, and who have no fear. We see that man or woman as having achieved their life goals and continue to rise above whatever adversity they come across.
Who was this person for you? Do you look at them differently now that you are an adult? What about other adults who appear to have their whole life figured out – how do you look at them?
When I was young, I felt that the adults who I looked up to were perfect – stress-free lives, happy, unafraid to call the pizza place. My mom would go to bat with anyone who tried to mess with her or her kids. No Fear!!
Now that I am an adult, I know these were lies I told myself. Of course, I didn’t realize it at the time. I find it admirable that the men and women I looked up to were able to put on a brave face for the children in their lives. I can only hope that I am able to put that same brave face on for my son.
Taking it a step further, let’s look at one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves as adults.
Do you look at Instagram and Facebook and see the perfect version of your acquaintances’ lives, only to feel the slow rise of jealously come up through your chest?
Thoughts that might come over you, and the reality on the other side of the camera:
“Why can’t I be that skinny?” (This person wishes they could gain weight)
“Why can’t my house be that clean?” (This person picked up this room for a good picture of her kids)
“Why can’t I travel the world?” (This person has been saving her whole life for this trip of a lifetime)
“Why does my job suck and this person loves what he is doing?” (This person has suffered through menial jobs his whole life, only to finally push out of his shell and find his passion)
“Why does this person have so many followers? Why do they claim to make a lot of money on their blog and I haven’t made a dime?” (This person works around the clock building their business)
I could probably go on for a while with examples. The point is, you don’t know what is on the other side of the camera, but you sure act like you do. How different would your life be if you did not compare yourself to other adults? We all do it, or have done it in the past. It is human nature, only made worse by the advent of social media. It is our job to stop the comparison and live our lives freely, without the worry of judgement from other adults.
My challenge for you: stop lying to yourself. If you find yourself in the comparison trap, take a step back from social media. Put yourself on the other side of that camera and realize that things just might not be so perfect on the other side. We are all just trying to make it, do our best, and be happy. You certainly cannot be happy when you are comparing yourself to someone else.